Post-It Notes

Who REALLY invented Post-it Notes?

Now, so as to satisfy all of you who have your very own beliefs on the subject, I will state a few of the many popular beliefs (or misconstrued, preconceived notions; however it may be.)

First, there is the ever-popular belief that stems from the ancient Mayan Sun Worship. This belief, simply stated, is that no Human invented these amazing little items; rather they were given to the ancient Mayan priests as reminders of the date for the sacrificial ritual used in the worship of the Sun. The reasoning behind this is obvious: Yellow to remind them which of the many gods in this pantheistic, polytheistic society; and the square to remind them of the date – the Fourth day of “Skwaar,” or “Zkware.”

This month of the extremely ancient Mayan calendar is, roughly translated into English, “A Box.” So, the “Fourth of Box,” or, “Four, Squared,” creates a three dimensional square, or a box. The belief is that the boxes were eventually reduced to flat squares for storage space; and the sticky substance on the back was a simple accident involving an ancient Mayan pantry, three week old poultry, and Chinese Duck Sauce. Obviously either the ancient Mayan were an extremely eccentric people, or this belief is DEAD WRONG.

The Second belief dates back around the Middle Ages. They were called the Middle Ages because it was during the period of time in which England was uninhabitable on all of the coasts, and consequentially, all of the people moved to the central section of the country. This belief states that Post-it Notes were originally created as Instant Armor Patches during the continual wars that occurred during this period of time. (These few short years are also renowned for Pumpkin Pie; Lemon Drops, Lice, and unwashed hair.) The belief is that during a battle there would be a wagon filled to the brim with Post-it Notes. When a knight would by happenstance get a hole or crack bashed into his armor, he would of course be in need of repairs, lest he be vulnerable. So, the individual with the injured armor would prance over to the ‘Jolly good Post-it Note Band Wagon’ (as it was known then) and take one or more Post-it Notes and place them over the destroyed portion of his armor. Generally it would substitute for a more substantial repair, (as long as the bright yellow color didn’t attract the attention of Archers and Spearmen).

Now, you might ask ‘Why did they use Yellow?’ And I would answer you, ‘Because then the Ladies of the Court would know who were the Truly Great Knights.’ Now, although this belief seems a little more acceptable, if you are at all like myself, you will still be slightly dubious as to its authenticity.

So let us look at a different perspective on the subject: This one I have labeled “The Accident Theory.” This would be because it is indeed the belief that it all came about one fateful night in January by complete accident. The story behind this is not so much a riveting tale; in fact it is not even interesting. It goes like this: One fateful night in the near middle of January, Nineteen Hundred and Five, there was a storm blowing in the streets of Bordonville, Massachusetts; and it wasn’t a fit night out for man nor beast. Joseph Broughham Raginold Smith was sitting inside, being bored out of his head. So he took some yellow construction paper and began cutting small, semi perfect squares, and pasting glue on the back, just for kicks. Consequentially, the next day as he was leaving for school, he used one to leave a note to his dear mother on the dinner table.

To make a very long story short the whole town heard of it, and the mayor sent one in to a large corporation (which will remain unnamed.) And he became a rich and famous person; leaving poor Joe Smith still trudging daily to school, dragging his books and sack lunches along with him. The Mayor went on to become an important dignitary to France.

I personally don’t have any clue which statement to believe. I think that perhaps it would be safest to just forget the entire subject and go on in blissful ignorance.